Unfortunately, this all changed when I started identifying as a woman.
Finally, with the appropriate amount of estrogen flowing through my bloodstream, everything started making sense. I joined OK Cupid a few years ago to cast a wider net and catch the kinds of people I wasn't meeting through "traditional" avenues.I started on the site as a gender non-conforming gay male and then moved into being a pansexual genderqueer person.Both of those spaces availed me access to the "cool" queer and trans people of whom I wasn't meeting in the three-dimensional world.While not many of my dates turned into anything, at least I had the encouragement that there are cool people who are actually interested in me.On one of the first days in January, I sat staring both optimistically and skeptically at a Chinese zodiac website that just one year before accurately predicted the complete destruction of every aspect of my life.
This year, it said, would bring a whirlwind of positive change: This site is two for two now.My 2015 kicked off with a pretty major milestone: I began medically transitioning into a female body.I'd spent all winter debating whether this was the right step for me, but once I finally started hormone replacement therapy, I immediately felt it was the best decision I'd made my entire life.Before identifying as a woman, I was never, ever messaged by a ghost. This is upsetting and offensive because I know that it stems from transphobia.It promotes the idea that being attracted to a trans women is embarrassing -- that it's something to be ashamed of.Straight men who are attracted to trans women are often wrongfully depicted as gay men "in denial." This is scary for them because we all know that to be gay is the ultimate wrecking ball to the fragile sandcastle that is male masculinity. The gross will more likely have photos, and they sometimes fill out their profiles, but they're still awful nonetheless.