Ads placed by women net hundreds of responses—as confirmed by the six women I interviewed for this article (whose names have been changed)—while men are lucky if they receive one that isn't sexual spam of the "Look at my porn site" variety.
If straight men could use these sites like women do, I believe they would, as evidenced by the fact that gay men do, on sites like Grindr and Manhunt.
I even discovered my sexuality and the World Wide Web at the same time.
I was 13 in 1995 when we finally went online at my house.
It would be another six or seven years before I fully embraced the Internet’s ability to bring me a steady flow of anonymous sex partners.
I was a sexual being capable of courting and receiving male attention. The Internet is a dangerous place for any sex addict, but for female sex addicts, there is the extra appeal of judgment-free access to an endless stream of sex partners willing to offer intimacy, flattery, money and whatever else it takes to get our attention.
While straight men may attempt to use the Internet this way, they're bound to meet with more resistance, based on the rules of sexual supply and demand.
Men seeking anonymous casual sex more often have to pay for it, or at least put in a significant amount of effort.
As a woman, my ads could have said nothing but “ooga booga,” and as long as I included my gender, I probably still would have gotten responses.
But from the moment I first heard those dulcet dial-up tones and the hopeful purr that followed, the online experience was tinged with sexual possibility.
I remember signing into a Prodigy chat room and communicating with another purported teenager whose screen name was “slyweasel13.” My mother stayed seated next to me at the computer desk, so the chatting never turned explicit, but it was loaded with flirty winking emoticons that left me panting.
Before the first dis-inhibiting sips of alcohol allowed me to go on dates with these guys, the Internet enabled me to talk to them, and maybe more thrillingly, to remake myself in the image of someone boys would want to talk to.
Online, I wasn’t overweight, nearsighted, brace-faced and lacking in social skills.