Can I even call that a “make-out session” if my ear is involuntarily involved? (#100reasonswhy Ineedtowriteawebseries) And we all know I go out alone for dinner like it’s no big deal (except it is by evidence of the lack of solo females) but it’s always men that I end up talking to, or end up talking to me. There’s always women (typically in a small group of two or three) at the bars, but they never reach out.
I’ve always imagined myself in my adult life surrounded by female friends with similar interests, where we meet once a week for either dinner or brunch or lunch or maybe just an awesome cocktail hour and dish about relationships, work, life… To see if he’d keep making out with my ear or maybe he just thought it was my mouth but nope. And it was definitely one of the more awkward make-out sessions I’ve ever had in my life.
That’s what I have always assumed is normal and maybe I’m just abnormal but I haven’t had a group of girlfriends like that since… Dating is actually easier than finding a brunch/lunch/dinner group of girlfriends. There are tons of websites and apps that can hook you up on a date and it’s EASY. If a group of women do talk to anyone else, it’s typically males (I see this at my bar all the time) BUT IT’S NEVER ANOTHER GROUP OF WOMEN. I work at a hotel bar in downtown New Orleans, I’ve seen plenty of bachelor and bachelorette parties and the ladies are always reserved, “wine please” “I can’t get too drunk” conservative and boring whereas the bachelor parties are always like “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT” . Erin and I dressing as Hookers in 7th grade cus it was funny and our mom’s thought so too… I’M NOT EVEN ONLINE WITH PINTEREST AND FACEBOOK AND A GOAT VIDEO AND I STILL CAN’T STAY ON TRACK. Is this because, as females, it’s frowned upon to let go? SHOUT OUT TO ERIN I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU READ THIS CUS YOU’RE IN NYC BEING AMAZING AND AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL SO PROUD OF YOUUUUUUUUUUU. It’s important to maintain a healthy relationship there first. I totally feel like this is probably one of the most A. D LINDSY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT STORIES OR BLOGS OR WHATEVER TO DATE. I’m even literally sitting at Firestone waiting for my stupid car to get stupid new tires and cleanse my bank account because that’s what cars do and it’s stupid. I observe so much- all the time- when I’m out with friends, when I’m working especially. Maybe this is my personal problem, but groups of males that come to my bar when I’m working are WAY more entertaining than groups of females. When it’s a BACHELOR VS BACHELORETTE PARTY, the BACHELORS ARE ALWAYS HAVING TWENTY TIMES MORE FUN! We bonded over a shared passion for Gone with the Wind, dried kool-aid packets mixed with sugar, dressing up like hookers and musical theatre.. The first time I realized that finding friends, specifically those of the female gender, is ridiculously hard was when I moved to KC after college. It was the first time in my life that I was thrown into a city knowing no one. Husbands come first and I totally get that because duh, you married them and you chose that person to be your partner FOR LIFE. And just when I was on the brink, THE BRINK I TELL YA, of getting that ideal female group of friends that brunches…
But in a let’s go enjoy a nice dinner (OR BRUNCH) and see if this is going anywhere and if it’s not then we can just both walk away and say we had a lovely dinner and if it does go well then maybe we can go out again. And in NO TIME AT ALL IT’LL BE JUST LIKE SEX IN THE CITY!
So essentially that gives you one full day every other week to hang out with me. Let’s just not turn this into “I want to hook up with guys” when we go out- it’s really important that doesn’t happen because it’s silly.
Something has just never really clicked for me in that way, maybe that’s why when I do find a female that just seems to sync with me I never let them go. One of my best girl friends to this day I met in middle school. Happy hours=social hours and being buzzed around people you have little in common with is better than sitting at home alone with your animals for the nine millionth time. I have two girl friends here that I love and trust, BUT THEY’RE BOTH MARRIED.
But to be completely honest, I’ve never really been a girl’s girl. Booze takes the awkwardness out of hanging out with people you don’t really know.
I have found some amazing friends through the service industry, one of my favorite people here is also a coworker, but with so many of them, because we have little in common other than our *awful stressful exhausting people are stupid* jobs, we can only really socialize if there is booze involved, booze being the one common factor. Especially when we’re new to a city, to a job- we go out with people we work with even though, outside of work, we have little to nothing in common and that is all healed by the ever powerful blood alcohol content of our bodies?
When I moved to Houston, once again, I knew two people. And once again, I was thrust into the difficulty of finding a group of female friends. one of them had to go and move to Charleston, and I moved to New Orleans, another city where once again, I knew no one. My first few months here, I sufficed on hanging out with people from work, service industry folks that although we have work in common, and a love for booze- there is little else there.