Group social interactions and parents' counsel are in service to the dating couple's learning and deciding interactions, not meant to replace them.
The individual can learn sexual behavior as he or she learns other behavior—through scripts that in this case give the self, other persons, and situations erotic abilities or content.
Desire, privacy, opportunity, and propinquity with an attractive member of the opposite sex are not, in themselves, enough; in ordinary circumstances, nothing sexual will occur unless one or both actors organize these elements into an appropriate script. A belief in the sociocultural dominance of sexual behavior finds support in cross-cultural research as well as in data restricted to the United States.
Psychosexual development is universal—but it takes many forms and tempos.
People in different cultures construct their scripts differently; and in our own society, different segments of the population act out different psychosexual dramas.
Abraham out of a sincere desire to do God's bidding—to birth an heir—, and from a realistic assessment of what was available for him to work with—the deadness of Sarah's womb—, kissed Sarah-in-bed goodbye to embrace a more workable method: Hagar in bed.
Similarly, Joshua Harris sincerely wants to work into a good marriage as God plans, and he realistically assesses the immaturity of high school dating, so he kisses it goodbye in order to embrace an amalgum of fellowship-meeting interactions and counsel & advice of his parents and elders.
Both Abraham's and Joshua's approaches represent wrong though understandable alternate plans.
Hagar was merely Sarah's servant girl, not the one meant to produce the heir.
It is because 'in our own society, different segments of the population act out different psychosexual dramas' that Joshua Harris will be following one script and the "world" another.
Which script other I bumped into a friend outside a store at the shopping mall and told him of a chair I'd purchased at a different store.
He wondered how much I paid, so I took a step forward and whispered it to him.